It just snowed a couple of feet of snow here in Denver, and it keeps coming down. I’m tempted to compare the hardships we’re suffering with the Colorado pioneers. You probably can guess all the stuff they suffered: frostbite, starvation, death, so I won’t bore you with their details. Here is a list of the things which we have suffered today:

1. Drank last bottle of red wine. Forced to borrow another bottle from the neighbors.
2. Had to shovel three feet of snow that had drifted atop the hot tub before enjoying a soak.
3. Satellite dish for DirecTV needed to be cleared of snow in order to watch TV.
4. No mail today.
5. Chained up the tires on my Land Cruiser. Forced to lie in a cold puddle, briefly. My blue jeans were wet and cold.
6. Weather.com maps showed inaccuracies.
7. Relative in warmer climes kept annoying us with phone calls for some incomprehensible reason. “Yes, we’re OK. No wait, we’re dead! Just kidding, we’re drinking.” WTF?
8. Ski trip to Copper Mountain may be postponed due to excessive snow. How ironic is that?
9. Prevented me from playing the hero. Newer version of Volkswagen Passat seems to have no front tow point. I have an enormous 1996 Toyota Land Cruiser with lockers, aftermarket bumper, recovery points with D-Rings and a strong strap. All Volkswagen had to do was provide a single front recovery point, as they did for decades in their other cars. What, do they think their cars are able to fly? Fucking Germans.
10. Couldn’t find my favorite knit cap.

As you can see, the hardships faced by the modern Coloradan have not changed much in 150 years. Even my mule was cold.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 21st, 2006 at 12:26 am and is filed under Humor, Rusty Brain. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.